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Monday, April 30, 2007

To Move or Not To Move

It has been a freakin' rollercoaster ride these last couple weeks. In my head that is. We have this grand plan to build and flip houses until we are mortgage free. It's also a grand pain in the neck. Most days I'm starting to think that maybe God's trying to get our attention and tell us just sit back and relax and wait a bit longer. Why else is there all this turmoil surrounding the decision?

One day I'm all excited to move to a quieter street where there is only 10 houses instead of 60 and the next I'm enjoying a great day with my awesome neighbors and I'm sad that I'd have to leave them behind. One day I'm thinking how great it would be to have no mortgage, the next I'm thinking how much it will cost to build again (lawyer fees, higher property tax, penalties, etc). One day I'm thinking it would be great to design and decorate a new house, the next I'm wishing we could just settle and landscape, get a deck, put in a flowerbed. One day it's all going smoothly, the next it feels like the world is falling down around our ears. It gives me a headache thinking about all the decisions. It feels like the perfect time for US because I'm not pregnant and our kids are a great age, but maybe it's not the time God wants us to move. The whole Our timing vs. His timing is just so hard to figure out!!!! If it weren't for this and if it weren't for that we could just move and be done with it. Why does it seem so easy for some people to just up and move and not for others?

Charmaign said something to me on Friday that has been sitting in my head like a squatter that won't move..."Plans can be changed". I'm not a big fan of changing plans, but I guess it's another area God is working on in me. I have to learn to be more flexible and more content. I have to remember that it's not all about me, but rather look at the big picture. Sometimes when things don't go my way or my speed, it may not be me that's not ready for the change. It could be someone else that will be impacted by my decision. Only God sees the whole picture. If we learn to trust in His perfect plan and timing, if we don't just leap into the first thing that sounds GRAND, if we wait on Him and listen to that small voice inside us, maybe we wouldn't get so anxious and confused. Maybe we wouldn't get ourselves into messes (Yeah, Erin, using the money in savings set aside for income tax for new carpet and now having to find another way to pay income tax and pay interest on it!!! Talk about jumping the gun!). I hate learning the hard way, trial by fire.

6 comments:

Jenene said...

I was just thinking about you, and then I decided to come and read your latest blog. I have praying for you on this very subject. Keep on trusting Him who has never stopped being faithful.

Nadine said...

I pray that God will guide you in your plans for becoming mortgage free - it's a great goal to have. I pray that you will have peace in this time and are able to hear His voice clearly.

cheeky said...

Breathe, deep breaths. It is so difficult to remain patient and truly know what His timing is sometimes. listen to it and you will know.
Try not to load up your palte with too much, meanwhile missing out.
You are in my prayers Erin.

it's a gong show... said...

Hi Erin. I came across your page through Louise's, hope you don't mind.

I read this post and HAD to comment. I, myself, am one that tends to try and "make things happen" and what I have learnt (the VERY hard way)is that we need to listen to that little voice that is guiding us that we tend to shove to the side at times. Being still and patient is tough but God will show you what His plan for you is. Unfortunately sometimes it feels like He is on a totally different clock than us.

I will pray that He makes it very clear to you in one way or the other.

~Saw you walking the other night. You go girl!

Gloria said...

Erin, I too strayed here viacariously, and wished to comment on this post. From one Mother to another, we have moved a number of times. This last time it became abundantly clear to us how it was affecting our children. Our teenage and honestly very grounded and unselfish daughter looked stricken when we told her our plans. She then teared up and asked why she could not just grow up in one house, why did we have to keep moving whenever she had just got comfortable where we were. I am not saying this is an issue you are or will face, just something to keep in mind. I hope we stay put for a while myself too.

Louise said...

Just keep on listening girl!!
Love you!!!

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