Tuesday's Musings...

1. Our basement is on the road to being finished (a very long, winding, slow road!!!). We are finally getting the drywall taped/mudded on the weekend. YAY!!! That means by next week I should be painting, and if you know me, you'll know I'm happier than a pig in whatever he's happy in when I'm painting. Then the carpet can go in and then it's livable.

2. I'm almost half done my cleanse (I'm in the fourth week...go, Erin, go). But the second half should be easier because as of Saturday I'll be able to eat some fruit. That's so awesome! I never thought that an apple would hit the spot.

3. As of next week I'll be working very part time (couple hours a day) from my computer in my home for some friends making contacts for their business. Maybe I can actually finally pay off that stupid credit card now. I always wondered what I could do from home to earn a little something, and God dropped it in my lap. It fits my life, I don't need childcare (but thanks for offering, Mom), and eventually, when my cc is paid off I can use that money for all the little things that end up on the cc, taking some of the strain off our life.

It's interesting how God says He will provide all our needs, but I don't think we, or at least I, always truly believe that 100%. I still look for ways to make the money go the distance instead of trusting that God's got my best in mind. Yet just when something else appears in our life and I think "Oh no, how is this going to work in our budget?" God comes through...a raise for Jer, a new side job, and now this for me. God knows every need and just when you think there's nothing else you can do to make things happen, you find out you're right. There isn't anything you can do. But God can. And he does! Give it up and give it over.

I have a problem!

I'm finally going to face the facts...I am a horder! I have this obsession with HAVING things. But most recently I've discovered that the 2 things I especially can't have enough of are books and scrapbook paper.

I've always had this dream of having a big library one day. Floor to ceiling shelving, a fireplace, nice comfy chair, the whole works. And what better to fill this wonderful room with than books? So I have this goal, fill a room with books. The trouble is, I don't have that room yet, but I do have boxes and bins and shelves of books that I refuse to throw out or give away because one day I will have a library. I've also discovered that I have lots of books that I have not read. I always have to have more than one book on hand for when I'm finished my current book (or books, I'm in the middle of 3 right now) so that I have a choice as to what to read next.

As for the paper issue...I'm thinking I need help. I buy paper just to have it because it's pretty. Who knows if I'll use it, but I can't leave it behind. I have an addiction. I go into a scrapbooking store and just stand and drool. All the pretty colors and patterns, oh all the pretty pages I could do (but apparently don't have time to do). And if that isn't bad enough, I'm sitting here right now contemplating joining a scrapbooking club online where they mail you a complete kit of coordinating paper and stuff every month right to your door (or mailbox). So then I'd have more. Yes, I really do have a problem.

Daddy's other job

Daddy is actually also another mode of transportation at our house. I think their term for him is "the camel". Aidan was feeling particularly brave this time (which makes me very nervous).

Dependence on Technology

I've realized that we have become totally and utterly dependant on all our gadgets. What did our parents do before cell phones, computers, the internet, microwaves, dishwashers? I'm guilty of the dependency! The cell phone...I can take it or leave it, but it's handy to have one. The internet/computer...totally dependent, why I'd actually have to do housework or exercise if I didn't have it. The dishwasher...been with, been without, hopefully never without again. But the Microwave...who knew the impact that would have on one's life? It must have taken Mom hours to do anything!!!

Well ours died on Monday. Four days without a microwave is almost torture. I realized how little forethought goes into my meals when all of a sudden it's 4:00 and I have no meat defrosted and no microwave to defrost with. That really screws up my plans. Like I'd think of what tomorrow's supper is going to be the night before! I'm definitely not my Mom. So my hat goes off the the generations of women who came before us that had to think of meals a day or two in advance and who had to spend hours in front of the stove to heat and reheat food. Four days was more than enough!

Very, very, very, very, very excited!!!!!!!

Okay, so I'm very excited as my title said. Jer and I are going to see Fireflight at the Pantages Playhouse next Friday (that's who's playing right now, or will be shortly once it loads if you have your speakers turned on and you didn't shut off my mp3 player). Jer introduced them to me a few months back and they have quickly become my favorite band. And it's actually 4 bands playing on Friday and they are one of them. Yay!!! How cool is that. I didn't think they'd ever come here, I get the cd for Christmas and VIOLA...5 weeks later they're in Winnipeg. What great timing!

Blog improvements...

As some of you may have noticed (those with speakers) I have added music to my blog. If you don't like it, you can scroll down to the little player on the left and pause it, or change the song (I made sure it had these options so that you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to). These are currently a couple of the songs that I love. There are more I'd like to eventually add (when I figure how to upload them from my computer).

Three Little Ballerinas

They all wanted to wear pink dresses and they all wanted to dance. Aidan comes running to me holding her dress out, frantically signing please to put it on too, just like the older girls. She twirls and flaps her arms and they are all so cute together happily dancing.

Day 17: Candida Cleanse

Well, it's true...the first 2 weeks are the hardest after that it's not so bad. My energy is back. On Friday I cleaned my entire house from top to bottom and when I finished I was almost disappointed not to have more to do. I think it's been so long since I even wanted to do anything productive that it was a nice treat to have a clean, fresh house. Jer was also relieved and delighted. Aside from my verse posted on the fridge (Galatians 6:9 - click on verse to read passage) I've put a counter on my blog to give myself motivation (although the words are very dark and I can't figure out how to change it, so you'll have to look closely to read it, making it almost pointless!!).

Day 14: Candida Cleanse (it's working!!)

I had my blood analysis yesterday at the Herbal Market. I was mostly happy with what I saw. My blood showed the yeast on its way out. I could see the yeast dying off. It was fantastic. All my hard work in the last 2 weeks has paid off. She said she could see that I had been on the cleanse. And even better was the news that I only have to be really strict for another 2 weeks and then I can add a few new things (including fruit, yay) back into my diet for another 4 weeks and then I'm done. So that was encouraging. I also found out that I'm not digesting protein, so she gave me an enzyme for that and she said that it should clear up any digestive problems I'm having. Again, yay!

The only disgusting thing that I was shocked about was a bunch of parasites that apparently had been in my system for a couple years (probably picked them up in Mexico) because one was in her words "the biggest parasite I've ever seen" which means it's been there for a while. If you read my last post about my fear of worms, well, you would have understood my absolute horror when I saw it. It is actually a worm (yuck, yuck, yuck!!!!!). I mean my blood was magnified many, many, many times so it's not actually that big (microscopic), but when it's magnified, it's soooooo gross. I think I almost fainted (seriously, I felt queasy). But the good new about the parasites it that they are actually on their way out of me as well. She said they are not "happy" with what I'm doing (she could tell by the way they were shaped and where they were in my body).

I'm telling you, this blood thing is so cool. It's not always nice to see what's in you, but it's nice to know what you can do to help. So it was worth it. Anyway, that's enough blabbing. Likely no one's as interested as me as what's in my blood.

35 things about me...

1. What is your occupation? mommy
2. What color are your socks right now? Black
3. What are you listening to right now? someone butchering "Unchained
Melody" on American Idol
4. What was the last thing that you ate? tortilla chips with bean dip
5. Can you drive a stick shift? not to save my life or anyone else's for that
 matter (that's not a very good thing)
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? red
7. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my mom
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? love her to pieces
9. How old are you today?  26
10. Favorite drink?  right now anything but water (it's all I can drink)
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? ummm, none at all...but soccer if
 any (that one's for Jer)
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes
13. Pets? a fish named Ziggy
14. Favorite food? probably anything Italian (still in Italy mode I suppose)
15. What was the last movie you watched? Charlotte's Web (and I cried)
16. Favorite day of the year? My birthday (and that's when I want to be in
Italy)
17. Favorite thing to do at home? you might think Blogging, but reading (in
a bubblebath is even better)
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? my Barbies and their big house I
had
19. Which is your favorite: spring or fall? Spring
21. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
22. Living arrangements? ummm, a house, with my 2 kids and husband? 
23. When was the last time you cried? yesterday (all day off and on...
it was happy crying)
24. What is on the floor of your closet? an overturned laundry basket (kids
use it for their car, a belt, boxes of unopened closet storage, and socks.
25. What did you do last night? read an awesome book, talked with Jer.
26. Favorite smells? Jer's cologne, vanilla, anything baking
27. What are you afraid of? snakes, worms, anything that looks like a
snake or worm
28. How many Siblings? 2 brothers
29. How many cars have you owned? 1 on my own and one with Jer
30. Number of keys on your key ring? 3
31. How many years at your current job? 3 1/2 and only 20 some odd years
 till retirement
32. Favorite day of the week? Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Friday...
they're all the same to me
33. How many provinces have you lived in? 1 (now ask me how many cities...1)
34. Favorite holiday? My birthday (it should be a holiday)
35. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? no, I wanted to drive the
Challenger, but no

Wanderlust

So I'm sitting here wasting time until my hubby gets home with the couple food items I need to actually cook something edible for my very hungry tummy! What better way to do that than plan a trip to Italy? I ran it past him a few days ago and let me tell you, the idea is snowballing out of control!!!! I've already found good flights (as good as they can be with $300 in taxes tacked on!), itineraries, an almost willing babysitter (thanks, Mom), now if only I could find the money. Jer said he'd gladly take me, just "show me the money". AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! It's a sick feeling of impotence. I don't want to get a job, although a part-time one wouldn't kill me for a couple of months. And Jer doesn't want to do any side jobs (at least not for a long time). So that leaves me sitting at my laptop dreaming. Oh, well, I guess dreams are free.

...maybe we don't actually need to eat supper...for the next 9 months...

Mommy's 2 Bookworms

 
I always hoped my children would have the same passion for the written word that I have.  Ella always has, but I wasn't too sure Aidan would.  Well this is my dream come true (one of many).  A silent moment where they are both absorbed in their books.  They didn't even look up when the camera flashed.  Suddenly Aidan is all about books and I don't even get to actually read them.  She just points to EVERYTHING on the page and says "waya?"  I'm assuming it means "what's that?" and it's helping her learn to talk.  In the last week she has started repeating lots of new words.  Maybe one day I'll hear something other than "ananana wayah".

It's only 9 a.m. and already it's been quite the day. I got up and checked my email and I couldn't believe it. An email from a lost friend to whom I had sent an email on Friday, hoping to at least close a door. A friendship that had never had closure for me and I'm sure for her. I needed to ask forgiveness from her for my part in a bad ending. I never thought I'd hear from her. It was enough knowing that I was doing what I'd wanted to do for 2 years.

But not only did she respond, she blessed me. Maybe time is sometimes what is needed to erase hurt and things never said. I don't know. I think it gave us the chance to grow up apart and maybe, just maybe we couldn't have reached our potentials together. That was a really hard thing for me to face 2 years ago, when I thought we'd never, ever not be friends. We'd be friends till we died. We always joked about being old together and sitting on our front porch acting as silly as we always were. Anyway, who knows where it will go. All I know is that only good things happen when you follow God's promptings. I'm finally free from something that has weighed me down for 2 years. Not only my body feels lighter from my cleanse, my heart is also getting a cleanse.

Day 10: Candida Cleanse

Well, it's getting easier. The die-off symptoms are simmering down. That's a relief. The cravings haven't hit that hard...yet. Who knows if they will. And I haven't been discouraged. Not once! That's a miracle. I also haven't cheated yet. That's another miracle (although I have had to ignore the little voice sitting on my shoulder telling me "it's okay, one taste of that isn't going to make a difference, no one will ever know"...ah, but I will, and God will and I'd probably blog about it and then everyone else would know!).

I feel clean inside and out. I feel like I've dropped a hundred pounds just because all the junk inside is leaving. My energy is up from last week, so you may have noticed, as I'm not posting multiple times a day (I can actually get my butt up off this chair and be productive in areas other than just blogging!!).

I have a blood analysis this Thursday to see how I'm doing and to see where I need to improve. I'm looking forward to it this time instead of dreading all the awful things they'll tell me ("we're not in the business of telling you what's right, just what's wrong and needs to be fixed"). I've come away thinking I'm dying, but not this time. I know I'm improving.

Apparently I'm a daisy. I always knew I loved them for a reason!!

You Are a Daisy

You see the world with an artist's eye. Finding beauty is easy for you - even in the dullest of moments. You notice all of the colors of the world, from fresh grass to sunsets. You are a total optimist and hedonist. You love to drink life in.

What Flower Are You?

Just when I think I'm losing it...

I'm sitting here on my couch, reading a good book, when all of a sudden I get this nasty ringing in my ears and it won't stop. I finish my book and decide to use my laptop and the ringing will not cease or desist. I move my head this way, then that way, stretch my neck...my I must have a lot of tension in my neck or something. I Google "sudden ringing in ears", I'm getting desperate here. Nothing "rings" a bell. I haven't had a recent concussion, or injury, no loud noises (it's dead quiet in here, girls are sleeping). So what the heck.

An hour goes by. I can't take it anymore. Maybe it's the fridge or the laptop. Sometimes devices do that. So I decide to try and follow the ringing. (should have thought of this 45 minutes ago before the nasty headache set in at the base of my skull!!!!). Lo and behold...it's a toy...the batteries have died. I switch it off and sweet relief!

A new part of our family

I just wanted to tell everyone about the proud, heart-filling evening I'm having. We decided to sponsor a little girl in Africa today. I feel like I've added someone new to my family. I don't know much about her yet, only that her name is Rachidatou Baga, her birthday is the same as mine (that's not why I picked her, although it did make the decision easier), and she lives in
Burkina Faso (which up until today I didn't know was a country in Africa).

I know to some of you it may not seem like a huge deal, but my grandparents always had a child sponsor and I remember reading their letters and thinking "one day I will sponsor a child and make a difference". That day has come for me and it's a HUGE milestone in my life. I got all choked up when I hit the "send" button on the website.

Welcome to our family, Rachidatou!! We love you already.

Day 5: Candida Cleanse

So far so good. I'm surprised by my willpower thus far. I don't think on any cleanse I've ever done that I've ever lasted 5 days without just sampling a little something (shows just how little self-control I normally have and how I got in this predicament in the first place). So that is a testament to God's abundant grace.

On a further positive note, the die-off symptoms are appearing more and more. This is a wonderful thing. I'm braced for battle, and I'm seeing the impact of starving out the yeast. Fatigue, lethargy, horrible acne, rashes cropping out on my skin, headaches...I look like crap, but it's all still a good sign and only by the grace of God am I coping with them and prepared for them. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm standing on God's word and looking them in the face and saying "Bring it on, I'm ready, because this means I'm getting better". And really, the end is in sight. It shouldn't last more than a couple weeks at the most. So then I'll have more energy than all of you put together (oh yes, the old Erin will be back!).

Oh, and another prayer request is that I won't get an ear infection as the yeast comes out (it happened last time and is quite common) not only because of the uncomfortableness of it, but because I don't want to go on antibiotics as that is totally counterproductive to this cleanse (yeast thrives on antibiotics). And thank you all for the encouragment I've recieved so far. You are an integral part of my healing process.

Galatians 6:9

And let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't get discouraged and give up.

I think this will be my mantra.  I just want to encourage anyone who is having a tough time "doing what is right", don't give up.  God is with us and he will meet all our needs each day in each difficult moment if we turn to Him.  Bless you today!

A Sweet Sunday

 

Aidan's Baby Dedication

Aidan: Fire of God
Be aglow and burning with the Spirit.  Romans 12:11


 

Day 2: Candida Cleanse

(aka: get rid of the crappy yeast making me sick, tired and bloated!!!!)

So I've made it through the first 24 hours of this program. I just keep telling myself "one day at a time". I've hit the first die-off symptom; headache. It's making my eyes burn. But that's actually a good thing (that's what I need to remind myself) because it means my body is in withdrawl from something it wants and I'm not giving it what it wants (yeast and anything that promotes yeast growth: sugar (and there are like a hundred different names for sugar that the sneaky buggers use to try and fool us), alcohol, MSG, preservatives, vinegar, etc., etc.). And I've told myself I will not cheat. Not once. I will be strong.

I was kind of discouraged at the outset. It's a huge chore to cook without encountering something I shouldn't have. But I must say I made a wicked lasagne yesterday. All natural. I even made the pasta sauce from scratch. And supper only took me 2 hours from beginning to end. Hopefully I'll do better so that I don't spend the next 2 months in kitchen cooking from sun-up to sun-down.

I was told by my dear sister, Svea, that I should remember to go to the Lord and ask for His Holy Spirit to help me with self-control and strength, creativity and wisdom in what to eat. That's a hard thing to do when you already feel so distant from God. So I had to shake myself and crawl back. I spent an evening on the couch listening to some good music and crying out to my God to pull me close. It was hard to break down the wall of pride and admit that I had drifted. All I know is that I won't do this diet on my own strength. I already know that because I've failed it twice before. So if you remember, please pray for me. This is more than just a silly diet to lose weight (although that's a great benefit), it's going to make me healthier, stronger and hopefully build my relationship with Jesus.

I'm too sexy for my shirt!