So Many Emotions

Today when I woke up, the first thing I did was check my Facebook because I had some emails about friends requests. Low and behold, one of the first things I see is that one of my friends is engaged to be married. The feelings that went coursing through me were a wide spectrum. So happy. First and foremost, that is the emotion I experienced. The one that followed on it's heels was a tiny bit of sadness. Not for them, but for what in our silliness, I now missed.

You see this friend was my Maid of Honour. My sister I never had. My bestest friend in the whole wide world. As I'm writing this I have tears streaming down my face. I loved her more than just about anyone in the entire world, except my family. I remember thinking that I couldn't wait until it was her turn to get married and I could be with her enjoying all the fun and excitement that comes with being a bride. Then somewhere along the way, in our immaturity, we stopped talking. Stopped being sisters. I used to sit and think about the fact that I would probably never talk to her again and never see her get married and have kids. That we would never be old and sitting on our front porches being gossipy old bitties like we thought.

The very happy part is, now I am able to be happy for her that she is getting married to the man of her dreams. That I can wish her happiness in person. I'm just sad that I forfeited my right to get the phonecall and be her giggling friend. That I found out after all the other people on the internet and checking out blogs. It's bittersweet.

Lindsay, on this day, I want to wish you all the happiness in the world. That God would bless you and Geoff and all that comes your way. That you would find so much joy and love. That as you walk together on this journey, your love and God will hold you two close. I'm so excited for you guys and wish you were here so I could hug you. I'm sending you hugs until I can! I love you and I already feel Geoff is a friend because he is part of you. Hopefully one day soon I can be his friend for real, as well. Congratulations again.

***Note: Just so you all know, this post is in no way about ME. I would never want anyone to think I was trying to take away from her joy. I truly feel blessed that I'm back in her life, that we're on friendly, talking terms again. It's been a long journey to get back to this. Hopefully one day we can get back to something like what we were before.