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Friday, May 25, 2007

So Many Emotions

Today when I woke up, the first thing I did was check my Facebook because I had some emails about friends requests. Low and behold, one of the first things I see is that one of my friends is engaged to be married. The feelings that went coursing through me were a wide spectrum. So happy. First and foremost, that is the emotion I experienced. The one that followed on it's heels was a tiny bit of sadness. Not for them, but for what in our silliness, I now missed.

You see this friend was my Maid of Honour. My sister I never had. My bestest friend in the whole wide world. As I'm writing this I have tears streaming down my face. I loved her more than just about anyone in the entire world, except my family. I remember thinking that I couldn't wait until it was her turn to get married and I could be with her enjoying all the fun and excitement that comes with being a bride. Then somewhere along the way, in our immaturity, we stopped talking. Stopped being sisters. I used to sit and think about the fact that I would probably never talk to her again and never see her get married and have kids. That we would never be old and sitting on our front porches being gossipy old bitties like we thought.

The very happy part is, now I am able to be happy for her that she is getting married to the man of her dreams. That I can wish her happiness in person. I'm just sad that I forfeited my right to get the phonecall and be her giggling friend. That I found out after all the other people on the internet and checking out blogs. It's bittersweet.

Lindsay, on this day, I want to wish you all the happiness in the world. That God would bless you and Geoff and all that comes your way. That you would find so much joy and love. That as you walk together on this journey, your love and God will hold you two close. I'm so excited for you guys and wish you were here so I could hug you. I'm sending you hugs until I can! I love you and I already feel Geoff is a friend because he is part of you. Hopefully one day soon I can be his friend for real, as well. Congratulations again.

***Note: Just so you all know, this post is in no way about ME. I would never want anyone to think I was trying to take away from her joy. I truly feel blessed that I'm back in her life, that we're on friendly, talking terms again. It's been a long journey to get back to this. Hopefully one day we can get back to something like what we were before.


Nadine said...

Erin -
That was such a beautiful prayer. I felt your heart through your words. God bless you this day. I too joice with you for your friend.

it's me, Val said...

So sweet, Erin. And I can tell how bittersweet. I understand . . .truly do . . . because I've been put in the same situation with my bf. It's hard . . . really hard. I try not to think about it and when I do, I just get so upset. Hang in there, girlie. What a good friend you are just for wishing such great things for her. I'm sure she feels it from you.

Louise said...

Erin my dear....I felt those words and all the hurt behind them, are a big person to offer all those words of love and encouragement, I hope she gets a chance to be touched by those words!
You are an awesome person and a great friend to have, I love you lots chickiepoo!!
Have a great weekend!!

Andrea said...

You almost made me cry reading that (and I'm sure I would've if Les hadn't been sitting right here!!). My best friend and I also forfeited our rights to be each other's maid of honors due to immaturity as well. Thankfully we are best friends again to this day. God can bring people back together and I'm glad that He has already brought so much healing for you and Lindsay.

Jen said...

congratulations to your friend
I pray that she may read this post and realise how much she means to you
its very sad when special friends stop talking

Alexis Jacobs said...

I think many of us have been in your shoes. I pray someday your prayers will be answered and you two find your way back. God bless. ((hugs))

Lindsay said...

Thank you, friend :)

Count down to Josh Groban Concert